Alaska at the LCR 15/02/2019 - Review
After 3 drag shows, finally the day has come where I get to meet the queen that really confirmed drag as something I’d follow throughout my life. And for all of you who were unhappy with my Aquaria review, you can calm down this one was 'Stun'.
Waiting in the meet and greet line, we have yet again completely blanked and not seen Alaska walk past us until she says her famous ‘hi’. As we step towards her, it dawns on me that I am meeting one of the most successful queens. She half hugs us, close enough. And we pose. And then, for the first time Lucy and I held a conversation with a drag queen. She told us about her makeup and was so sweet and said thank you. And off we go to get drinks and find RuJazzle. And after a quick chat, RuJazzle neither confirms or denies whether or not she will be on the first ever season of Drag Race UK, I expect my favourite UK queen to be there and slay my heart away.
RuJazzle steps on stage to start her set dressed in a pink bow filled dress. Different to her other looks, and then starts a Barbie number. Now this is no ‘America (Fuck Yeah!)’, but it is hilarious, filled with gags and the work-in-progress dance moves I have come to see. Next, she does a Valentine’s themed performance, pulling up an audience member to play Blind Date. After blindfolding her and picking some contestants, they played two rounds. First question: where will you take your Valentine on a date? Answers: cheap pint of Dark Fruits at Spoons, day at Southwold pier, and a cheeky Nandos. With the Southwold contestant eliminated, the next question is: you’ve been married for 10 years, what do you do to spice up your relationship? Answers: some peri-peri Nandos sauce, and a statement that she will never lose interest. With contestant one named the winner and the lovebirds walking off stage, I run to the bar to get more drinks to prepare for Alaska.
Alaska struts up onto the stage in a blue ensemble and giant orange spade like a mermaid. She starts off performing her iconic ‘Hieeee’, not lip-syncing but singing, and well. And right after that she goes into ‘Your Makeup Looks Terrible’ while picking on people in the audience. She stops to have a little chat and explains the show, it will include requests, a Q & A, and some guest friends. She leaves her giant spade with someone in the audience and introduces Handsome Jeremyon the piano. They start taking requests for songs to perform in 80s power ballad form, after all, anus-thing is possible. With dropping her nominations for Queerty Awards at every moment possible, and both hitting and butchering notes (on purpose), it comes time for a costume change.
LOLAAAA!!!! All of a sudden, in a badly choreographed, mess of a reveal Alaska is in a red skirt and bra, along with a shawl. After singing some more songs, Alaska introduces her new talk show ‘Can I Aaaaask You a Question?’, which involves her going around the audience and meeting fans, answering their questions. While most people ask her to reveal the winner of the latest season of Drag Race All Stars, she stays strong and refuses to leak spoilers. She shows off her athletic body by hurling herself back onto the LCR stage that I so often have tried to get onto myself and tells us she needs to do a costume change again. But this time, cannot do it so spectacularly on stage. Instead, she gives us three options, watch a video of her wearing Snapchat glasses, watch a video of her trying to meet Lady Gaga and failing, or watch her eat a burrito. The answer is clear, show me this burrito. While watching Alaska eat her burrito, she says from backstage ‘this is literally just me eating a burrito you guys’.
And back again, in all leopard print, including an umbrella, Alaska performs a new song that is yet to be released, ‘Everything Must Be Leopard Print’. This is truly a song that speaks to us on an emotional level having never worn leopard print… but the next song is a feminist statement we have been waiting for. Once Alaska strips of her gown into thigh-high boots and a leopard leotard, she explains how much she loves women and how grateful we must all be for women, especially in the world of drag. She has written us a song that cried out, ‘hands up, bow down to vaginas’.
When we thought that was all, she comes back on stage for a final number. Starting off with her verse from my all-time favourite ‘Read You Wrote You’, she goes into ‘The Tea’. I am so glad she sang instead of lip-syncing because she really does have a talent for it. And with that, she said thank you and left. Alaska Thunderfuck 5000 has performed the best of all the queens in Nor-which, and I am not surprised but so grateful.